30 and Still Living With My Family

I’m a young Asian woman, almost 30 (I know that’s old, but I’m still young at heart), and I still live with my family. By family, I mean I’m still single and live with my mom and siblings. I know many of you may be thinking, “What?!”, “I can’t believe that,” or “Girl, it’s time you to move out!”. It is not like I have never thought about it. I have…plenty of times.

Moving out and living by myself is one of my dream that may never happen, but I can accept that, and I do not care about what people say. I have a full-time job. I’m also enrolled full-time in an online graduate program. I pay bills. I helped around the house chores. I do my fair share instead of lazing around and leeching off my mom and younger siblings. Most importantly, given my financial circumstances, I cannot afford to move out.

Remember how I say moving out is one of my dreams? I had my whole life planned out during my senior year in high school. Everything was going to work out perfectly because I had a plan. I was going to go to college, get a promising career, buy a new car, move out and be independent, then get married and have children. All of that never happened. All the guest speakers that I listened to in high school shared the glory of how going to college was an excellent choice and how it led to a promising career. They shared the light of the stories, but not a single one shared how hard it is. They do not talk about how hard it is to graduate from college. The complications of interviews after interviews only to be rejected. None of that is shared. Not everyone will experience that glory.

I have friends who are married with children and have promising careers. Now, some of them are single and are happily living alone. They are the perfect epitome of independent young men and women. However, my situation does not mean that I am below them. Yes, my job and student debts put me in a position where I cannot move out or be put into the independent category like many of my friends. However, I’m happy and blessed that I have a home and a place to sleep. I’m glad to return to a noisy house after a long shift. Although I would prefer a nice and quiet environment, at least from all the noises, I know everyone in my family is well and happy. While I cannot find a job that will pay me more than $20/hr, I like my coworkers. We get along, and we support each other. We fight, argue, and makeup like we’re family–no, my coworkers and I are a family.

My life did not turn out as I planned it 13 years ago, but that does not mean it is the end of the world. Just because I still live with my family and have no boyfriend does not make me a loser or less worthy than other people who have their life put together. I mean, who the hell gets to judge my worth when they do not know my circumstances?! Why should anyone let other people judge their worth? You, yourself, should know how worthy you are.

I’ll be thirty soon, but I do not plan to move out anytime soon. Forget the pressures of society and the lives of others; right now, I am where I am supposed to be. Soon enough, although I do not know when my hard work and effort will pay off one day.

Advertisement