I’m a young Asian woman, almost 30 (I know that’s old, but I’m still young at heart), and I still live with my family. By family, I mean I’m still single and live with my mom and siblings. I know many of you may be thinking, “What?!”, “I can’t believe that,” or “Girl, it’s time you to move out!”. It is not like I have never thought about it. I have…plenty of times.
Moving out and living by myself is one of my dream that may never happen, but I can accept that, and I do not care about what people say. I have a full-time job. I’m also enrolled full-time in an online graduate program. I pay bills. I helped around the house chores. I do my fair share instead of lazing around and leeching off my mom and younger siblings. Most importantly, given my financial circumstances, I cannot afford to move out.
Remember how I say moving out is one of my dreams? I had my whole life planned out during my senior year in high school. Everything was going to work out perfectly because I had a plan. I was going to go to college, get a promising career, buy a new car, move out and be independent, then get married and have children. All of that never happened. All the guest speakers that I listened to in high school shared the glory of how going to college was an excellent choice and how it led to a promising career. They shared the light of the stories, but not a single one shared how hard it is. They do not talk about how hard it is to graduate from college. The complications of interviews after interviews only to be rejected. None of that is shared. Not everyone will experience that glory.
I have friends who are married with children and have promising careers. Now, some of them are single and are happily living alone. They are the perfect epitome of independent young men and women. However, my situation does not mean that I am below them. Yes, my job and student debts put me in a position where I cannot move out or be put into the independent category like many of my friends. However, I’m happy and blessed that I have a home and a place to sleep. I’m glad to return to a noisy house after a long shift. Although I would prefer a nice and quiet environment, at least from all the noises, I know everyone in my family is well and happy. While I cannot find a job that will pay me more than $20/hr, I like my coworkers. We get along, and we support each other. We fight, argue, and makeup like we’re family–no, my coworkers and I are a family.
My life did not turn out as I planned it 13 years ago, but that does not mean it is the end of the world. Just because I still live with my family and have no boyfriend does not make me a loser or less worthy than other people who have their life put together. I mean, who the hell gets to judge my worth when they do not know my circumstances?! Why should anyone let other people judge their worth? You, yourself, should know how worthy you are.
I’ll be thirty soon, but I do not plan to move out anytime soon. Forget the pressures of society and the lives of others; right now, I am where I am supposed to be. Soon enough, although I do not know when my hard work and effort will pay off one day.
6 responses to “30 and Still Living With My Family”
I don’t understand this mocking of people if they live with their parents or siblings. In India, that sort of thing is normal, even if you get a job.
I’m not trying to push the culture of India, just in case you think that. But I often think, is it so bad to live with your family?
Hi! Moving out is the culture norm in the US. Most of friends moved out when they were 18 and few of them moved out after college. Since I’m Hmong, I chose to live with family. It’s pretty common in my culture to stay with our parents until we get married, or, of course if we find a job that requires us to move. Also, I love learning about other cultures, so I would love to hear more about India!
The best way of summarizing the Indian families is that joint families are the norm here, meaning that the son can and often lives with his parents, and if he is married and has kids, he still lives with his parents. Girls live with their parents until they are married.
As a fellow Asian, I must say that I’ve overstayed my welcome in my parents’ house too. But because I live in Malaysia, that sort of thing is pretty normal. Also, it’s hard to afford things like homes here, so there’s that.
LOL. I think all Asians (or most) can relate to that. One of my friends moved out four years ago, but every time we FaceTime, he’s always at his parents house.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are a hard working person, and I like that you are happy with what you have achieved, while hoping that the future will bring more. I am certain that God has good plans for you. Keep working hard and praying to God. Prayer is the master key, but faith without works is dead.
God is the King, and he is able to make things work in our favor.
God says in Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.
If anyone reading is interested in building a relationship with God, I have a post on that here: https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/
There is much more to know about God. I post frequently on my blog about topics related to God. You are welcome to follow my blog to keep up with my content. Follow my blog here: https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/
-All the best. May God bless you.