a confession from the past

“I liked you back then and I still liked you now.”

My heart skipped a beat as he gently touch my cheek, but soon enough I jerked away from him before our two other friends can come in. I knew that I am not much of drinker, but two glasses of wine shouldn’t really make me feel that way. Right or am I wrong? We knew each other from high school, but never had classes or interact with each other until our third year in Spanish honors. I couldn’t stand the sight of him teasing me all the time. Not that he made my last two years horrible and miserable, but sometimes he was just a pain in the ass. After all, we did became good friends. Moreover, it is not like we never knew about each other’s existence, we went to elementary, middle, and high school together. We were just never that close.

As our other two friends come in, I just give him a smile before getting up. Our two friends have been married for two years and finally had a baby boy. I was not planning on staying long, just long enough for a short conversation and to give the gift I had bought. Moreover, I did not even knew that he was going to show up. My phone rings as my brother called to let me know that he was on his way to pick me up. He had dropped me off before he went to go pick up our sister from work. The whole time I can feel his eyes on me as I put my jacket back on. I said my goodbyes as I get a text from my brother. He was outside waiting for me. As I walked into the kitchen and washed my cup, he followed me and refilled his cup with some juice.

“You know I won’t date my best friend’s ex or do I want to date my ex’s friend.”

He gives me a nod before walking back into the living room. I yelled out a last goodbye before leaving. It’s been years since we saw each other. Only after we had graduated, was when a friend of ours told me “he was only acting that way because he liked you, but you never notice him.” Did I liked him? Well, he was a dashing and handsome jerk, but at times when I needed someone to talk and complain to he was there for me. When I met his roommate, also his best friend from college, he was dating my best friend. The three of us went to middle and high school together. His friend and I dated for about a year, until I called it quit because at that time I was not ready to commit to a relationship. After college, he and my friend got married. Two of my friends got married and I was happy for them. A year ago, they divorced.

“Would you have dated him, you know, like if he never married Allie and you never dated Josh?”

I look at Sarah, my friend from college, with a sarcastic look. We both laugh as we continued to hike up the trail to Clingman’s Dome. I never answered her question, but she never asked again. However, I don’t know or have an answer for it.


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