Father’s Day

It’s father’s day and I’m sure every single one of you is out there celebrating it. You probably even did tons and tons of shopping. Maybe, just maybe, you even woke up extra early to get to the store making sure you were the the first customer just so you can get that shirt, shorts, phone, etc for your father. Well, I’m happy for every single one of you who is out celebrating and appreciating your father. But my question is do you appreciate your father every day?

Let me tell all of you a story. Summer 2017, I was still working at Rugged Wearhouse and a customer came in. After I check her out, we spend a few minutes talking and she was telling me how much she appreciated me as a cashier and wish I was at every store she shops. As an appreciation, she gave me two target gift cards. Now, as a policy I’m not allowed to take it from her and I told her this. However, she was persistent. Quickly, she took out some old receipts, wrapped it around the two gift cards and asked me to throw it away. That was how I got my two target gift cards, each worth $25.

A few weeks later, before father’s day. My siblings and I all got together and we decided to buy our father a gift for the first time ever. Therefore, we decided to use the two gift cards the customer gave me because we were all still in school and was saving up money before the semester started. On father’s day, after I got out from work I went to Target. After much browsing, I got him a blue polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. I used the two gift cards and paid the rest with the $10 that me and my siblings all pitched in.

That night when I got home, we all secretly went into the other living room and out the clothes in a gift bag. We gave it to him and he was so happy. He was so happy that he wore it for the entire following week and it did got dirty pretty quick. I was also happy that he like the clothes because he, and including my mom, never spend money in themselves. Their clothes are old and worn until you can see holes and seams undone. That was our first and last gift to him.

As many of you know or may not know, I lost my father in August 2019. And it is a very tragic accident because he did not died from natural causes. It was an incident, than many people/parties were involved in and no one came forward to apologize to my family or wanted to took responsibility. The whole world was against us. Additionally, I can say for the first time that the death of my father and preparing for his funeral, for the very first time I was not proud to call myself Hmong.

Anyway, recently there was a little problem where a close friend of mine stole my identity. She took my pictures from Facebook and Instagram using it as her own to make dating profiles. I don’t know if she talked to anyone, but I caught her and we’re no longer friends. So, I took time to go through my pictures on Facebook and Instagram, debating whether I should keep or delete the pictures that she stole. While doing so I just happen to came upon a few pictures I took that included my dad.

Some memories came back as I recall those times, but I realized one thing. I realized that because I felt my dad was so patriarch and strict, as an adult there lots of times I resented him. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I did when I was still a rascal. I guess, what I’m trying to say here is that for some stupid reasons there were times when I was jealous of my some so-called friends then because they didn’t have curfews or strict parents. Really I had no logical reasons to be jealous.

My family had no idea that Father’s Day of 2017 was going to be the first and last one. Of course, there was also father’s day in 2018, but we spend the entire summer taking turns going to Charlotte spending nights there in the hospital that it was so exhausting and Father’s day wasn’t even on our minds.

This year we have no father to celebrate father’s day with. I am jealous of my coworkers who requested off to spend time with their fathers or grandfathers. Also jealous of my friends, who still have his/her father around.

I know I’m not the only one had lost my father, there many of us in this world without a father. We all went though the same pain and emotions. But for those of you that still have a father, I really do hope that you all had a blast celebrating father’s day. However, make sure you show him that appreciation time to time not just on Father’s day or any other special occasions. Finally, for those of us that had lost our father or don’t have and never met our fathers, memories are also wonderful gifts that our fathers (or any fatherly figures) left for us.

Happy Father’s Day.

1 thought on “Father’s Day”

  1. Very tragic! Condolences to you! I lost my grandma in October 2019 and it still pains me to this day: February 23, 2020. How cruel can those people be? They didn’t care about your father when the accident happened? I can understand where you are coming from. Hmong people usually don’t help and don’t care if it’s not their family members. Sometimes even friends are not considered helping. The pattern is that in life or death situation, they only help out if it’s family related. Regardless, they should have helped your father. Karma can be a heavy pain coming their way! So sorry about your father! Nrug koj tu sab heev!

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