Anon4013 sent in:
I’m currently a 2nd year in college. I have this high school friend that I’ve known since we were kids and she was attending another college. She didn’t so well so she was put on academic probation. I want to tell her that she needs to get back on track and stop hanging out with the wrong group of people. However, she has change a lot since meeting her new group of friends and even her first old group of college friends tried to help her but she cut off contact with them. I’m afraid she’s going to do the same with me and I don’t want that to happen. Should I just try to talk to her even though I know that she won’t listen? Or should I give up on her like everyone else?
If you want to help your friend then you should tell her. Don’t be afraid that she will cut off ties with you because she probably already has and you just don’t know it yet. A loyal friend will always let her friend knows when she is going on the wrong path and tell her to get herself together. For example, there was this one year a friend and I got into a heated argument when I was telling my friend to stop going to the bars and clubs because she was failing all her classes.
The only thing you need to know is your duty of a friend and that is to either support her or not to support with all her choices. If you don’t support her then state your reasoning. She may not agree with you, but at least you try. Lastly, you may find, that like most others, giving up on her is the best choice after you try to talk to her. Let her walk her own path and let her learn from her own mistakes.
2 responses to “Advice from MaiMai #2”
Agreed completely with MaiMai. Let that friend find out for herself. You may not know it Anon4013, but your friend may have already cut you off. She just has not informed you yet. If she does cut you off, then you’ll just have to do without her. I can tell that this friend is very close to you because both of you have known each other since childhood.
Like MaiMai said, loyal friends will tell you when you’re going down the wrong path. They’re willing to be honest with you even if it hurts you. If the worse does come, then you know that there are secrets to your friend that you have never known before. Giving up might be the best choice ever as MaiMai stated.
Who knows? Maybe she’ll learn soon? She will learn that she needs you more than you need her.
I’m sorry about your friend, but I’m sure we all have had a few friends like that. You should do what you feel is right. Hang in there!