Journal Diaries

365 Days of Journaling: Childhood Dreams

When I was a child there was many things that I wanted to be, a doctor, archaeologist, doctor, teacher, lawyer, a historian, etc. I guess you can say that whatever is on the labor list it was probably on my list as well. Those days that I would spent playing House or Hospital with my friends I could feel the ambition of wanting to play the character in the uniform. The righteous and brave person out of the whole cast. Who wouldn’t want to play a character like that?

As children, we all had dreams, different dreams and as we bloom and blossom some of us pursue that dream while others take on a different route. I’m neither of the two as I’m a beach bum trying to figure out what I’m good at and my heavenly gifted purpose. And, I come to a realization that many of us will spent years wondering what our purpose is. It is nothing like our childhood dreams where we can pretend to be what we want and when we want. Life, itself, seems so limited. Then we wonder how all these people have the time to do everything they want. Of course, it makes us, or me in particular, envious of such carefree people realizing how goal oriented we have been all along. 

I wanted to be a lawyer. Law school was my goal during middle school and then medical school during high school. Of course, I am pursuing the latter. And, I definitely feel like something is missing, something big. I just don’t know what it is. This is when, I take a huge leap back to my childhood thinking how easy it was for me to say “I’m going to be a doctor.”

The truth is most childhood dreams are just gibberish. Some of us grow up to be a totally different person. A person that we can never imagine being while others like me will probably spent more time to unleash the person we so desired to be. When I was middle school, my math and science teacher went around the room asking us what we wanted to be. It came to an acquaintance of mine and he replied “I don’t know.” My teacher then said in his classroom “I don’t know” is not an acceptable answer. I used to agree to that.

Now, I realized it is an acceptable answer as long as you add something to it. For example, I don’t know yet sir but I do like to work in a hospital. We all change as we grow up and so do our goals. Sometimes we make unethical choices, but when we do we shouldn’t bring up childhood dreams telling ourselves “I wanted to be a lawyer.” First, it makes us even more pity. Second, it’s not going to help the situation. Third, instead of moping around take some action to make it happen or write a new destiny.

In my culture, there is this saying “Being born with a bad paper” and that paper is supposedly your life written on it. However, I tell myself each night I’m writing my own future. I’m not going let this so-called paper steer my life. It’s perfectly fine to have dreams as a child or to not have dreams, but if you should get hurt in your own future endeavor you shouldn’t blame your child/teenage self. You didn’t know better back then you were just living life to the fullest. And, it’s what you should continue to do if your dreams suddenly come to a halt.  Explore around, make new friends, and unleash new hobbies to blossom some more. That’s what we did as children and that’s how we were able to make a long list of our future self. Childhood dreams are inspirations that we discover, and no matter how old we are we should never stop dreaming.

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