submitted in by bubbly_gurl
So, I know that we all have this one friend that…may sometimes get attached to us so easily. Or maybe it’s just me. Anyway, I’ve been stuck between my own decisions and don’t know what to do. I know this friend since middle school and I feel like I can’t do this or that. I do this then I’m going to look like the bad friend but if I do that then I know I’m just not making the right choice for myself. Life is COMPLICATED. I’m not going to use my friend’s real name, so I’ll refer to him as Fred in here. In fact, I’m going to use fake names for any person that I mention, except for myself (hehehehe).
Like I said before, I met Fred in middle school and at first we didn’t really talk to each other. However, soon after being paired up as partner for a class project we ended noticing that we had the same interests and ended up being friends. In fact, we also live closed to one another. I mean we apparently went to the same school for 13 years, up until college. However, Fred do have his own family problems. His dad, in my opinion, is pretty much an alcoholic, although I have never seen him drunk before, but I have heard from Fred himself. Therefore, he is much closer to his mom and older sister. You can say that his relationship with his dad is very vague.
In addition, Fred also have issues with his girlfriend(s). I don’t really get his point of dating them when all his relationships are more like friends with benefit, but he insists that he is dating them (well not all at once of course). In addition, Fred is just kind of sitting at home doing nothing. Our friends (Larry, Gary, Lily, and me) have been trying to get him to go to college. He did applied and got into a community college. However, he soon quit just because he can’t do math. What a lame reason.
So, even before he attended community college he was always like, “Hey guys, lets get together and formed a band. We all like to play music! We can also become a group of street artist, since we all like to paint.” We all agree, but that didn’t even last one month. It was only about two weeks, because he soon became lazy and we were all busy and hours apart. He then found a job at Big Lots, in which is good for him. However, when all of us make plans to hang out he would always be like “I don’t have money to buy the ticket” or “I don’t have money to buy food” it was getting old and of course we were tired of him complaining. I mean he isn’t the only one with financial issues, but it’s not like we told him a day ahead, we make sure to plan everything a month in advance! So, then sometimes we hang out without him, but he would be mad/upset because he lives right across from Larry and Gary. However, we could care less. Why? Well, that’s because he was busy doing his own business with his girlfriend. That’s why we decided not to hang out at his house. Still, he could have just come over and hang out with us after he’s done with his girlfriend, but NO, he had to send us all a text and complain.
I remember one day, I decided to hang out with Gary because Larry and Lily were gone during spring break. Gary and I had initially made plans to hang out at Fred (it was kind of like let’s surprised him since he hasn’t seen us for a long while). However, when I arrived at Gary’s house I saw that his girlfriend’s car was there and his parents’ car were gone. So, I ask Gary how long has she been there and he replies “Since this morning at 10. His parents left yesterday night with his little brother to go visit their grandmother.” So, it was only 11 when I arrived and we decided to wait a little longer until their business was done. However, we ended up waiting until 3pm. And we were hungry, so Gary suggested that we go grab some pizza. That day I should have put more gas in my car so then we could have just take my car instead of Gary’s car. Why? Well, apparently at 5pm that evening we both received a text from Fred saying “I see how it is.” We both knew what he was talking about and just completely ignored the text message. And he continue to keep texting us nonsense things like “if you don’t want to hang out with me then fine,” “why do you guys keep meeting secretly, if you’re going to then do a better job,” etc. Well, we both turned our phones to silent so that we can enjoy dinner with our old high school classmates that we happened to met at Cici’s Pizza.
After, dinner when we were driving back to Gary’s place, I texted Fred and told him why we didn’t stopped by and that we actually waited for a long while just playing video games. He then texted back, “No need to lie.” In which, got Gary and I so upset that we never visited him at all. I just left to go back home that evening as soon as we got back and Gary left for work. Few weeks, later I got Face Book message from him complaining about his girlfriend and how complicated girls are. I didn’t Face Book him back because I already know that the conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere. There have been plenty of times that I told him just break up with her if she’s cheating on you; however, at the same time I also knew that he was also cheating on her. I mean I have met all the girls that he went out with and I don’t know what they were thinking to go out with him.
I also remember, one day when Gary, Larry, Lily and he came to visit me at my campus. He later, using my phone, called my roommate and asked her out. She was quite surprised and gave a firm no. Beside I told her enough story of Fred already, that she didn’t really wanted to meet him in the first place. Nonetheless, she was still polite to him when he came, but when he started talking about all the girls he met with my roommate’s face has the word disgusting written all over. Even I didn’t like it. I know that I’m making him sound like a man whore, but he really is. If only you can see his drawers and what its full of.
I also noticed that he is insecure. By that I mean that if he message someone and if they don’t reply back then he would try to reach them the entire day. Or if we decided to hang out with someone else and not him, he would act like he did above. At first, I didn’t mind his actions, but now it’s getting really annoying. We do tell him that it’s getting over the line and our patience, but he thinks that we don’t like him. Moreover, his Face Book statuses has been ridiculously, such as “Getting rid of of people and keeping TRUE FRIENDS only” or “why won’t you talk to me” or “Look at this girl! She’s such a fake!” You may not find it ridiculously or annoying but me and my friends do.
I have finally have enough of him and think that he seriously need help from a profession, but I don’t want to tell him. Plus, I feel like he is in the way of hindering my dreams. Honestly, I remembered one day, I told him (and I don’t know why I told him) that after graduation I’m going to go to Japan and work there for a year if I get accepted to the place. Then he was like “oh take me with you! I really want to go visit Japan and if I like it then we can live together.” Plus, sometimes when I prioritize my school work first, he gets mad at me for no reason. I mean as friend he should also understand that I have my own life and I can dedicate 100% of my daily activity to him. In fact, sometimes when I hang out with my siblings he gets upset that I didn’t invite him. What the heck, dude I talked to you more than my family since you keep calling me.
I really want to tell him to grow up and do something with his life, but then I know that is going to be mad at me and probably label me as a “fake friend” in which I don’t even care now. However, at the same time I don’t want to be a bad friend. This life is complicated, but I’m going to do whats right for me even if he doesn’t wants to be my friend. Even if I get called as the bad friend. I’ve been patience with him for long enough and I think I’ll probably died first (due to stress and anxiety) if I don’t just tell it to his face.
MaiMai 